Thursday, December 4, 2014

It's Okay If You Aren't Holding Up Your End Of The Bargain, Because This Deal With God Is Not A Bargain, It Is A Gift!

So it is that time again....exam time. The one of two times in the year when I really feel like I cling to God more than ever. It's true, if I don't get anything else out of law school or exam time at least I got some good one on one time with God because he knows I run to him for help more during this time than ever! I know, I know, it shouldn't be that way. I wish it wasn't. I wish I made time every, single day to sit with God and just talk and study his word. I try to do that too but I am not always successful. I would give you an excuse for that but my only excuse is that I am a busy law student/wife and even that is not a good excuse because neither of those things come before Jesus, at least they shouldn't. But, God is full of grace and even when we don't give him our first fruits, when we don't give him the time he deserves, he makes time for us, he gives us grace.

The past two weeks my life has evolved around studying. I get up and eat breakfast, do some kind of little workout (when I say little, I am talking like push-ups and squats and I'm done), shower, eat, maybe read a chapter of my bible and then start studying. I take breaks to eat. I have gone and spent some one on one time with my husband a couple of times in the evenings after a whole day of studying but other than that...just studying. You get the picture. Anyway, I really haven't spent a ton of time with God. When the "hard core" studying started, I guess about two weeks ago now, God decided to get my attention since I wasn't giving it to him willfully. After a full day of everything I just described to you, I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake. I woke up because I was fighting with my annual bout of bronchitis and coughing a lung out. I laid there for a few minutes hacking and started to get frustrated. My first thought was, "Really! I have studied all day. I am worn out. I have to get up and study again tomorrow and I need to sleep right now!" Then something really cool happened...God stepped in! Very clearly he spoke to my heart and said, "I can't get your attention any other time, so I have to do it in the middle of the night, when I know you can't go anywhere and do anything else." WHAT!!!!!??? WOW!!!! Immediately I stopped being so frustrated that I was awake and started being so thankful and humbled at the thought that Jesus came to me in the middle of the night because he just wanted to talk to me! Even when I had been neglecting him, he took the time to come to me when he knew that I wouldn't have a choice but to listen.

Believe it or not, the story gets even better!

I immediately started praying. I just started praying for a little bit of everything but there was one topic in particular I couldn't seem to get away from. Over and over this subject kept coming back to me and it had to do with my husband. Finally, while my husband was sleeping I wrapped my arms around him and just started praying for him and that subject. Me and Jesus had a real "come to Jesus" for about an hour and a half that night. The next day, my husband came home from work and told me a story. Low and behold, God had made it very clear that he was starting to work on the situation that I couldn't stop praying about the night before. My jaw dropped! Brent said, "I was kind of in and out for some of last night, is that what you were praying about?" It was! It was exactly what Jesus woke me up to talk about.

Isn't it awesome that even when we neglect God and we don't give him all of the time he deserves, he still loves us enough to wake us up in the middle of the night, the only time he knows we will be listening and talk to us about something he is working on?! That is the coolest thing! That is the amazing daddy that we have. The next Sunday at church God gave us more confirmation when one of our pastors was preaching on exactly what we were praying for! God likes to let us know that even when we aren't holding up our end of "the bargain" that is okay, because this deal with God isn't a bargain, it is a gift! It is LOVE! Unconditional, merciful, graceful, patient, peaceful, love.

Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for your love. Thank you so much for the kind of love that is patient and merciful. Thank you that even when I get busy with things going on in the world and I don't give you the time you deserve, you still love me enough to come sit with me and tell me what you want me to know. Thank you Jesus, that if we acknowledge you in all that we do, you make our paths straight. Thank you for preparing the way for us! Thank you, Jesus. Help us to devote all of ourselves to you and to not let the rush of life get in the way of time with you. I love you, Lord!

Amen.

xoxo,
Emily

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Ignoring God, When All He Wants is to Help You!

"You're a wonderful wife, don't let anybody tell you any different, alright?!" My husband said that to me today. I'm not sure whether he was saying it because he knows how I have been struggling lately to be a law student and a new wife or if he just felt like saying it. Either way, it encouraged me, it was just what I needed to hear at that moment. As you know, Brent and I were married just a little over a month ago. After the wedding and the honeymoon, classes started back just nine days later. Transitioning from our wonderful honeymoon to trying to get our house in order and everything unpacked and put away, to starting back to class has not been the easiest. My motivation for school is...for lack of a better word, lacking, and I just want to be a wife.

Lots of people warned me of this before Brent and I got married but it hasn't been quite like they said. Yes, it is hard to be a law student and a new wife but that isn't the part that bothers me, like many people said it would be. What bothers me is that sometimes I feel like I am not living up to the Proverbs 31 description of a wife because I am too busy with school. I get home from class and all I want to do is cook dinner and pick up the house, maybe wash clothes, you know, all of those "wife things" you do. The problem is, I get home and I have pages and pages of reading and research and it is all I can do to get something out of the crock pot and have it ready for Brent, much less the meal that I feel like he deserves. This might all sound crazy, but I really feel this way.

No, my husband does not demand I be that stereotypical wife that does everything he says to do whenever he says to do it but I desire so much to be the wife that I feel like he deserves. Just to make it clear, he has cooked us dinner several times, it isn't that he is a bad cook or that he gets upset when he has to do it, it is just that I feel guilty letting him. So, last night, I had a meltdown. Crying and pouting and trying my best to explain to him how I felt, or at least how I thought I felt. Over and over I told him he didn't understand and I didn't want to be a law student as bad as I needed to want it, to be able to get through school. I told him I just wanted to be a wife  and eventually a mom and that all law school did was get in the way of that....and on, and on, and on. He finally interrupted me and corrected me, he said, "Why are you ignoring God? You never ignore God. You are not listening to him at all." He continued, "Over and over I have seen him reassure you that this is what he wants from you right now and you keep acting like that is not the case. God has shown you that you can do this and he wants you to, so don't worry about me and cooking dinner and washing laundry, it is my turn to take care of that. Worry about what God wants from you right now. Worry about school and let me carry the rest of it. I want to" Wow...at first I was resistant to that. It wasn't until today when he said, "You're a wonderful wife, don't let anybody tell you any different, alright?!" that I realized I am so blessed and that yes, like Brent said, I was ignoring God. I can be the Proverbs 31 wife I want to be and still allow Brent to help me, help is okay, as a matter of fact, it is good! Just because he does a little more than I would like for him to right now, does not mean that I  am not doing my job as a wife. I need to accept that and be thankful that I have a husband who is loving and caring and Godly enough to realize when he needs to help, or even wants to help!

Have you ever found yourself so wrapped up in trying to be something else, that you don't realize you are ignoring God? Like me, trying to live up to my ideal version of a wife, it may be a great thing you are trying to do. But, sometimes even the great things get put on hold and it is not God telling you not to work towards that or that it is wrong, but it is God telling you that you are in the right place and that you just need to slow down and accept help. If you are in that place, just take a breath. Slow everything down, let somebody help you and don't feel guilty for letting them. Realize that God is not telling you to quit, he is just telling you to slow down! Listen to him, he will lead you in the right direction and provide help for you if you are willing to take it.

So my prayer today is:

Jesus, you see how hard I am trying. You know my heart and my desire to be the best wife I can be. To live up to my standard as a Proverbs 31 wife and to give Brent all that he deserves. Jesus, you see how hard it is for me to do it all. Thank you for telling me that it is okay, to not be able to do it all. Thank you for sending me the best husband in the world, who is willing to help me and who doesn't want me to do it alone. Thank you for helping me realize that I just wasn't listening to you and that I am in the right place doing the right thing and for helping me slow down. I love you so much, Lord. I just want to do this right, thank you for helping me! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Just take it to God! His burden is light! :)

xoxo,
-Em


Friday, July 25, 2014

Just eight more days...then FOREVER!

As the wedding approches just eight days from now, my emotions are starting to run a little high. I am so excited and anxious, maybe even a little nervous. What is funny though, is that Brent told me a few days ago that he was nervous but that he is not nervous because he is marrying me, but because he will have to stand up in front of 200 people and do it! That is not why I am nervous though. I am nervous because THIS IS HUGE! This is so much bigger than we imagine, so much bigger than us...this is a FOREVER thing! Especially lately, I have been trying to get my hands on everything I can about being a Godly wife, extending grace to my husband, caring for him, creating a loving, Godly home, making it last FOREVER, like it is supposed to. I have learned a lot, not only about him and the right way to communicate with him and love him, but about myself. I have learned that I am really far from perfect...like really far! All that I have learned though, is starting to really sink in...It is also starting to sink in that although I have studied and worked to understand my role as a Godly wife, I will never fully grasp it. It is not a role that can be perfected, only practiced. While I come to grips with the fact that it cannot really be perfected and I cannot be 100% ready, I realize that this is where God's strength is made perfect in my weakness and that His grace is sufficient for me! (2 Corinthians 12:9) Even though Brent and I are beginning the most challenging, important, glorifying journey we will ever embark upon...HIS GRACE IS ENOUGH! Yes, this is HUGE! Yes, we will mess up, because we are human. Yes, this is permanent! Yes, this will be the most drastic thing we will ever do to glorify God..it needs to be done right! In spite of all of that, the really scary stuff, when you step back and think about it, because I am willing to submit to him and he is willing to love me like Christ loved the church, Jesus will do the rest. He is willing to be the grace that sometimes we won't be able to extend to each other, or the peace that sometimes we both need, or the rock when maybe neither of us are strong enough to be. It won't be easy but if we trust him, it will be do-able! And it will be right! I cannot wait to marry my best friend, the man that God built for me! I cannot wait to attempt to put all that I have learned into practice. I want our marriage to be one that people admire and look up to. I want people to feel God's love just oozing off of Brent and I, and for them to know that something is different...I want that! So my prayer for this week is: Jesus, I come to you knowing that I am so far from perfect. Knowing that what Brent and I are about to do will be the biggest decision we ever make. Jesus, I want this marriage to glorify you, I don't want it any other way. I want you to wrap us up in your love, even more than you already have and just seep into our souls and use us to show other people that love. As much as we love each other, Lord, this is not about us, but about you. Help us to remember that as we start our journey and help us to remember that in every circumstance, your grace is sufficient, and your strength is made perfect in our weakness. Jesus, help me love Brent like he deserves to be loved and help me serve him as you would have me to! I love you, Lord! xoxo, -Em

Monday, July 7, 2014

Who Are You? What Are You Doing? You Are Worth SO MUCH MORE!

Recently I have noticed a trend, it is not a good one, teenagers posting pictures of themselves with hardly any clothing on, making the duck face; adults with children creating posts full of filthy language and obscenities; both teens and adults posting things like, "truth is, inbox only" or "date or pass." This is extremely concerning to me. I was scrolling through my facebook and as I passed several of these posts back to back I started to think about it. Are these people trying to find their worth? Are they trying to get somebody, just anybody, to tell them they are pretty, or funny, or popular? What is happening? The sad thing is that these people are so concerned with what everybody else thinks about them that they have forgotten who they really are. The thing that is even sadder is that this mentality is being passed down to our teenagers and pre-teens.

When every single picture posted by a teenage girl is posted by her because she thinks she looks "hot" in it; THERE IS A PROBLEM! Of course every girl wants to feel pretty and wanted, even desired, and that desire is there for a reason. God created us that way! He created us to ultimately have a relationship with a husband that is unlike any other relationship, where we feel wanted and loved and through that relationship we feel closer to God because that relationship acts as a vehicle to worship and glorify him together with our husbands. The problem is that these girls do not know who they are and because of this they are turning to what other people think about their outward appearence to form their opinions of themselves and in turn they are not saving themselves for their husbands, heck, they aren't even saving themselves for a significant other, instead, they are plastering almost nude pictures of themselves all over the internet because they want that feeling...This is a problem.

Girls, I'm going to be real frank with you for a minute...YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!! You are worth so much more than that picture of yourself you just posted, with the shorty shorts and belly shirt; you are so much more than that private message you received five minutes ago as a response to the "truth is" status you just made...YOU ARE WORTH MORE! You are not a sex symbol, stop acting like it! God created you! He formed you, he knew you before anybody ever did. You are HIS! The same God who created the entire universe created you and he loves you more than anybody can ever even try to love you. Accept who you are, take your place as a child of the one true King and stop searching for this vain popularity that will bring you nothing and is not even real. You have so much more waiting on you than that but you have to accept it, and want it, and own it! Be royalty, that is who you are!

And guys....Stop chasing after girls who don't know who they are! You are royalty, as well! You are also a child of the one true King! Stop posting obscene, profane things that don't make you look cool, but instead make you look desperate. Take your place as God's adopted son and don't have anything other than what God has planned for you; and I promise he has BIG plans for you! Would you walk right up to the daughter of a king here on earth and in front of the king himself, tell his daughter something completely obscene that focuses on her sex appeal...I sure hope you wouldn't. Every time you say something like that to to a girl, not only are you completely saying the wrong thing to get her attention, but remember, God hears it all! He might as well be standing right there beside of you and you just spewed that ridiculous stuff out of your mouth right in front of God...and if you posted it on Facebook, you spewed it in front of God and everybody and you look like a fool! Don't be a fool, you are royalty; act like it!

So in conclusion, just as Mathew West sings, you are a "child of the one true King," act like it! Whether you have a personal relationship with Christ or not, maybe you don't even know him, remember that God created you, and he sent his son Jesus to die for you because he loves you just as much as he loves his son. God gave his perfect, blameless son for you, so that he could call you his! No, you're not perfect and you don't have to be. God even loves your imperfections...he DEEPLY loves you and it hurts him to see that you don't know your worth. Be confident in who you are in him! Because you are so much more than you allow yourself to be!

If you don't know Jesus and you would like to, feel free to message me and I would love to talk with you! :)

Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand
    when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Friday, June 27, 2014

What it Really Means to be a "Woman"....Advice I Wish Every Girl and Guy Could Hear!

This one is a long one and I originally wrote it and posted it on my Facebook rather than here on the blog, however, this topic is so dear to my heart and as I prepare for our wedding in almost exactly a month, God has brought it back to my memory. So, I decided that meant I needed to share it here! :)
               There was a time in my life that I thought being the best woman I could be included being independent and successful, maybe even a “feminist.”  It wasn’t until my women’s bible study during my undergrad years at Virginia Tech that I learned those things are exactly the opposite of being the best woman I can be. Yes, it is important to be all you can be, people do want to feel independent, and it is nice to be successful,but what is the bible’s definition of what a woman should be?
                I have reached a point in my life that I feel like I can call myself successful.I am engaged to the love of my life, I have graduated from a top university,the university I wanted to go to since I was eight years old, and I am now in law school. So, one might think this is ironic coming from me. But, I do believe that God has so much more to say about “who a woman really is” than we give him credit for.
                You see, God gave both the woman and the man special characteristics that the other does not have. He gave women a special part of him and men a special part of him. God gave men the protective, side of him. He gave men the desire to provide, protect, and cherish their relationships and their families. He gave women the nurturing, caring, compassionate side of him. These are both special characteristics that God intended to be reflected in both the woman and the man.
                Along with this comes a particular truth that I believe, at some point or another,every young woman struggles with.  Submission.Yes, I said it, submission. Don’t get your panties in a wad yet! There is more to this than you think and being submissive is not the same thing as being controlled. God created Adam first (1Timothy 2:13) then he created Eve using Adam’s own bone. (Genesis 2:22) God allowed Adam to name Eve (Genesis 2:20-23), just as he named everything else, this demonstrated Adam’s headship over Eve and God called Eve, Adam’s helper. Now, some people take this and run with it.This does not mean that women are inferior, it means we are special. We are important enough that God wants us to be taken care of. And, most importantly, we are like Christ. The Hebrew word used for helper in the bible is “ezer” which is the same word used in the bible to describe God as the “helper” of Israel.Helper is not a derogatory term, instead, it illustrates strength and power.
                Being submissive to the Godly men in your life does not mean you are bowing down to them or abandoning your own voice and your own say, it means that you are saying, I trust God to work through those men and I trust them to listen to Him. It means that as a real woman of faith you can go to God knowing that He will provide those men in your life with guidance and when they don’t listen to His guidance, he will use you to do what He needs accomplished and He will take care of you because you trusted Him and were submissive to His will.
                Later on in the bible Paul tells us “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the Church”. (Ephesians 5:22-29) Many women are not fond of this passage of scripture because they don’t understand the real meaning of the word “submit.” Remember, we are helpers, we are strong and powerful,we are like Christ. This “submit” does not mean to bow down to our husbands and supply his every demand. This word means to respect him and help him! There is more to this passage as well, the second half that is often left out. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Oh,there it is! What this really means. We, as women, are to be respectful and helpful and men, as leaders of our families, they are supposed to love us like Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church enough to lay down his life for it. Jesus was also a servant. He served sinners, children, and the poor. He served the church! Husbands are to serve their wives and wives are to respect and help their husbands. It is a mutual relationship. Love and respect goes both ways.
                Because I am a strong, well educated woman, I still sometimes struggle with this idea. However, I have learned that life works better this way. It works better the way God designed it. We are happier when we are operating the way our creator designed us too.  I have to remind myself of this and I have to remind myself that to be submissive is to be respectful, and to be a helper is to be strong!
                So girls, I said all of that to say this. Learn this now! Embrace it now, instead of later. If you haven’t met the one your soul longs for (Song of Solomon 3:4) pray for him! Pray God prepares him for you and you for him. Pray that God equips him to be your spiritual leader and the spiritual leader of your family and that God equips you to be his strong helper. Do it now, before you meet him. Come to the realization that being the best woman you can be, means being a woman of STRONG FAITH! It means knowing how God designed you and what he designed you for, and being content in that!


Now, go read Proverbs 31...the whole thing! I promise it will be worth every minute! :) A lot of people think Proverbs 31 is for women only, but, if you are a guy out there looking for the girl God has for you, it will let you know exactly what you should look for.
xoxo,
Emily

Thursday, April 24, 2014

When God Speaks...

Have you ever had one of those days where everything just feels heavy. You're tired, the day hasn't gone so well, the devil is straight-up playing with your mind, your thoughts, and your emotions. I had one of those a few days ago. It seemed like everything that I did brought up some memory of things I did not want to remember. You know, those things you tuck away somewhere deep, deep down inside and hope they never find their way back to the surface. The ones that took you forever to forget and you would do anything to not relive. Those things. My family went through a pretty dramatic change a few years ago. At the time, it was an ordeal that was absolutely unimaginable, one that I was sure I would never have to go through. I was wrong. When the devil hits, he hits hard and fast. Because of this ordeal my parents divorced and moved away from the home I grew up in. Now, I pass my house, the one that I lived in for fourteen years of my life, almost every day. On days like the one I was just describing, passing that place that used to be mine is so very hard! And that day it was...hard!

After I passed it, I started thinking about all of those awful moments. The devil was messing with my mind and I was not in a place to fight him off. I had just left class, my brain was "fried," and I was so tired. I started praying because that was all I knew to do. I said, "God, please just say something." All I wanted was to hear from him. I just needed him to speak. I wasn't looking for some profound, earth shattering, proclamation from God. This time, I just wanted a word, I just wanted to hear him. Almost like a hug, I just needed a hug from God. I turned KLove up (as I always do) hoping God was going to dramatically bless me with the next song (as he often does)...nothing. Then he spoke. He spoke to my heart this time. Nothing Bold or loud, just a nudge in my spirit. I felt him saying, "Do you remember that scripture?" "Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God?"" I started thinking about that. I realized, that was the hug. "know that I am God."

Sometimes, we just want some profound word from God so badly and all we expect from him is that, but God doesn't always speak that way. Sometimes he gently hugs us. He tells us to "Be still" he tells us to rest in who he is, to rest in that hug! To let him wrap us up with his arms and to rest in the knowledge of who he is! To know that HE IS GOD! Wow, how powerful! Just knowing who he is, is enough. That is enough to bring peace to any situation. This is because God is love, power, justice, forgiveness, and so many other things, but God is peace! He is peace, he brings peace, just whispering the name Jesus brings comfort.

So, that bold word that I was looking for, was not what he gave me at all. Instead, it was a soft quiet hug from God. It was peace. He said, "Be still and know that I am God." Rest in who I am, rest in the fact that I hold you in the palm of my hand and I am standing at the end of your future. I have already written it. I have already seen it, I know how it turns out! I know what becomes of this situation, I know how bad it hurt. So, rest in my peace. Let me hug you. That is really all you need.

There is a song by Francesca Battistelli that I love called Unpredictable, part of the songs says,
"Help me rest in the mystery, of what I can't understand." Rest in the mystery, be still, let God hug you, hold onto you, just rest. Instead of being afraid of the uncertainty, rest in the mystery of what you don't understand, rest in WHO GOD IS!


So this is my prayer:
God, we know who you are, but sometimes we forget. We forget that you created the world. That you are bigger than any situation. That you knit us together in our mother's womb and that you know the outcome of every situation we face. We forget who you are. We forget that you know our thoughts and our feelings and you understand them. Jesus, help us give those uncertainties to you. Help us give those painful thoughts, feelings, memories, words, and actions, to you. Wrap us in your love and peace, hug us Jesus, and help us rest in you. Thank you for loving us enough to give us a wonderful gift like your peace. I love you, Jesus! Amen.

xoxo,
Em

To hear Unpredictable, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-qXC3TnuE0

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Overwhelming Tragedy, Beautiful Resilience...We Are Virginia Tech.

April 16th 2007 is a day that will forever be remembered by the entire Virginia Tech community and many other people not even connected to Virginia Tech. I wasn't there on that horrible day. I didn't officially become a Hokie until 2010. That day changed my university forever. As horrific as this day was for everyone involved or connected in any way, there is something beautiful that came of it. God likes to do that...turn ashes into beauty. 


The question is often asked; "Why does God let bad things happen to good people, if he loves us so much?" I am sure that this question was asked on more than one occasion regarding this tragedy. The answer is simple...because the world is sinful and God allows people to make choices. When the devil attacks us and leaves us with nothing, much like he did on that horrible day, we have two options. The first is to run away and the second is to stand, fight, and become stronger than you ever were before, recognizing that God is the reason you are able to get back up.

I believe that although God allows people to make choices and although the world is sinful, God is there to dust us off and love on us. God helped the Virginia Tech community back to it's feet. He gave us amazing resilience and helped us show the devil that we are stronger than anything that he can throw at us. If we trust him he is faithful to do this in any situation, just like this one, even those that are bigger than anything we could ever comprehend. When we face tragedy and we are hurting so badly that we can't move, God just wants us to trust him. He just wants us to fall into his arms and let him carry us, he just wants us to give it up and give it to him. In Matthew 11:29-30 Jesus says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Jesus wants to take our brokenness and heal it, he wants to make us into beautiful creations so that he can shine through us and someone else can feel his love. That is one of the many things I love about him!


Every  April 16th is sad, the entire environment of the campus changes. People suddenly speak more quietly, hug a little tighter, tell their friends how important they are. Yes, there is a certain pride that comes along with being a Hokie, but on this day, that pride takes an entirely different form. It is more compassionate, respectful, and loving. That is what came of this. A beautiful resilience came along with the brokenness. As all of the world watched to see what would become of Virginia Tech, we stood back to our feet, wiped the tears away, wrapped our arms around each other and showed the world that not only are we  going to be okay, but that "We Are Virginia Tech." Our campus of nearly 30,000 people became a tight knit family, full of respect and compassion for one another. God picked us up and carried us forward. 



Only Jesus can take pain like that away. Only he can turn ashes into beauty. I am so proud to be a Hokie! I am so proud to be a part of a university that made it through something so awful and became so resilient! 

"While 32 of our friends and classmates are in Heaven trying to explain what a Hokie is, I stand here sure in the fact that I wouldn't want to be anything else." 

xoxo,
Emily



Friday, April 11, 2014

So, this is my first, EVER, blog post! Of course my instantaneous decision to start blogging came from none other than God! He gives me all of my good ideas. :) So where did this come from? God likes to deal with my heart and speak to my spirit when I am driving. I have about a 20 minute drive to class so I usually crank up my KLove and worship all the way there. I started thinking about my life and where I'm at. All of the amazing things God is doing with it, how blessed I am, if I am actually recognizing how blessed I am...that kind of thing. All of this thinking led to thinking about law school, as it usually does. I run around "like a chicken with my head cut off" wondering how I am going to get it all done, and how I am supposed to remember everything I am supposed to remember, but this time I was thinking a little slower than usual. A little more philosophically. I started to slowly realize that God is way bigger than law school. No, for real, HE IS! Law school is scary, getting married is exciting but it is a huge change and that can be scary too. Put them together and well, life is getting real! What I realized though, is that God sent my husband to me, so that is something to take solace in. Regarding school, God gave me that opportunity, he created the minds of the people who created the law. He created the law! He created law school, he created my professors. He knows it is hard! He knows I am frustrated and tired. He knows. So he does little things to brighten my day! Like this...I was in my car, on my way back from school, crying because I was extremely overwhelmed. All of the sudden a song comes on the radio that God knew I needed to hear. The very first few lines of the song are, "You brought me this far, so why would I question you now? You have provided so why would I start to doubt? I've never been stranded, abandoned, or left in a fight alone, so I'm giving you control." Ha! I'm sure when I went from crying to laughing, God started smiling! He likes it when we laugh. Needless to say, before the song came on I was thinking I couldn't do it anymore, it wasn't worth it. God knew what I was thinking...he had the answer without me even asking the question.

Proverbs 16:3 say, "Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will succeed." In that moment, God blessed me to see that because I have committed my work (law school) to him, he will help me succeed. He will get me through it. That goes for anything, not just law school. See, God loves us so much and he wants us to succeed! Not only does he want us to succeed but maybe sometimes he allows it to be hard so that we are forced to see that we didn't get through it on our own, but that he got us through it! He is just that Great! The rest of the song says, "I lift my life, lift my life up, I give it all in surrender. I lift my heart, lift my heart up, you can have it forever. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave them in your hands. I lift my life, lift my life up, have your way with me." 

So, here is my prayer:

Jesus, you see my frustration and my desire to succeed, but I want my desire to serve you and love you to be far greater than my desire to succeed. So ignite that fire in me! Help me give it all to you, surrender it all. I commit my plans to you, I give my heart to you, I surrender my life to you. Help me be patient with myself and others. Help me get through the end of this semester and while getting through it let your love radiate off of me. Let everyone I come in contact with feel your overwhelming love and amazing peace! I love you, Lord! Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be your hands and feet. 

xoxo,
Emily