Have you ever had one of those days where everything just feels heavy. You're tired, the day hasn't gone so well, the devil is straight-up playing with your mind, your thoughts, and your emotions. I had one of those a few days ago. It seemed like everything that I did brought up some memory of things I did not want to remember. You know, those things you tuck away somewhere deep, deep down inside and hope they never find their way back to the surface. The ones that took you forever to forget and you would do anything to not relive. Those things. My family went through a pretty dramatic change a few years ago. At the time, it was an ordeal that was absolutely unimaginable, one that I was sure I would never have to go through. I was wrong. When the devil hits, he hits hard and fast. Because of this ordeal my parents divorced and moved away from the home I grew up in. Now, I pass my house, the one that I lived in for fourteen years of my life, almost every day. On days like the one I was just describing, passing that place that used to be mine is so very hard! And that day it was...hard!
After I passed it, I started thinking about all of those awful moments. The devil was messing with my mind and I was not in a place to fight him off. I had just left class, my brain was "fried," and I was so tired. I started praying because that was all I knew to do. I said, "God, please just say something." All I wanted was to hear from him. I just needed him to speak. I wasn't looking for some profound, earth shattering, proclamation from God. This time, I just wanted a word, I just wanted to hear him. Almost like a hug, I just needed a hug from God. I turned KLove up (as I always do) hoping God was going to dramatically bless me with the next song (as he often does)...nothing. Then he spoke. He spoke to my heart this time. Nothing Bold or loud, just a nudge in my spirit. I felt him saying, "Do you remember that scripture?" "Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God?"" I started thinking about that. I realized, that was the hug. "know that I am God."
Sometimes, we just want some profound word from God so badly and all we expect from him is that, but God doesn't always speak that way. Sometimes he gently hugs us. He tells us to "Be still" he tells us to rest in who he is, to rest in that hug! To let him wrap us up with his arms and to rest in the knowledge of who he is! To know that HE IS GOD! Wow, how powerful! Just knowing who he is, is enough. That is enough to bring peace to any situation. This is because God is love, power, justice, forgiveness, and so many other things, but God is peace! He is peace, he brings peace, just whispering the name Jesus brings comfort.
So, that bold word that I was looking for, was not what he gave me at all. Instead, it was a soft quiet hug from God. It was peace. He said, "Be still and know that I am God." Rest in who I am, rest in the fact that I hold you in the palm of my hand and I am standing at the end of your future. I have already written it. I have already seen it, I know how it turns out! I know what becomes of this situation, I know how bad it hurt. So, rest in my peace. Let me hug you. That is really all you need.
There is a song by Francesca Battistelli that I love called Unpredictable, part of the songs says,
"Help me rest in the mystery, of what I can't understand." Rest in the mystery, be still, let God hug you, hold onto you, just rest. Instead of being afraid of the uncertainty, rest in the mystery of what you don't understand, rest in WHO GOD IS!
So this is my prayer:
God, we know who you are, but sometimes we forget. We forget that you created the world. That you are bigger than any situation. That you knit us together in our mother's womb and that you know the outcome of every situation we face. We forget who you are. We forget that you know our thoughts and our feelings and you understand them. Jesus, help us give those uncertainties to you. Help us give those painful thoughts, feelings, memories, words, and actions, to you. Wrap us in your love and peace, hug us Jesus, and help us rest in you. Thank you for loving us enough to give us a wonderful gift like your peace. I love you, Jesus! Amen.
xoxo,
Em
To hear Unpredictable, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-qXC3TnuE0
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