When God Speaks...

Have you ever had one of those days where everything just feels heavy. You're tired, the day hasn't gone so well, the devil is straight-up playing with your mind, your thoughts, and your emotions. I had one of those a few days ago. It seemed like everything that I did brought up some memory of things I did not want to remember. You know, those things you tuck away somewhere deep, deep down inside and hope they never find their way back to the surface. The ones that took you forever to forget and you would do anything to not relive. Those things. My family went through a pretty dramatic change a few years ago. At the time, it was an ordeal that was absolutely unimaginable, one that I was sure I would never have to go through. I was wrong. When the devil hits, he hits hard and fast. Because of this ordeal my parents divorced and moved away from the home I grew up in. Now, I pass my house, the one that I lived in for fourteen years of my life, almost every day. On days like the one I was just describing, passing that place that used to be mine is so very hard! And that day it was...hard!

After I passed it, I started thinking about all of those awful moments. The devil was messing with my mind and I was not in a place to fight him off. I had just left class, my brain was "fried," and I was so tired. I started praying because that was all I knew to do. I said, "God, please just say something." All I wanted was to hear from him. I just needed him to speak. I wasn't looking for some profound, earth shattering, proclamation from God. This time, I just wanted a word, I just wanted to hear him. Almost like a hug, I just needed a hug from God. I turned KLove up (as I always do) hoping God was going to dramatically bless me with the next song (as he often does)...nothing. Then he spoke. He spoke to my heart this time. Nothing Bold or loud, just a nudge in my spirit. I felt him saying, "Do you remember that scripture?" "Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God?"" I started thinking about that. I realized, that was the hug. "know that I am God."

Sometimes, we just want some profound word from God so badly and all we expect from him is that, but God doesn't always speak that way. Sometimes he gently hugs us. He tells us to "Be still" he tells us to rest in who he is, to rest in that hug! To let him wrap us up with his arms and to rest in the knowledge of who he is! To know that HE IS GOD! Wow, how powerful! Just knowing who he is, is enough. That is enough to bring peace to any situation. This is because God is love, power, justice, forgiveness, and so many other things, but God is peace! He is peace, he brings peace, just whispering the name Jesus brings comfort.

So, that bold word that I was looking for, was not what he gave me at all. Instead, it was a soft quiet hug from God. It was peace. He said, "Be still and know that I am God." Rest in who I am, rest in the fact that I hold you in the palm of my hand and I am standing at the end of your future. I have already written it. I have already seen it, I know how it turns out! I know what becomes of this situation, I know how bad it hurt. So, rest in my peace. Let me hug you. That is really all you need.

There is a song by Francesca Battistelli that I love called Unpredictable, part of the songs says,
"Help me rest in the mystery, of what I can't understand." Rest in the mystery, be still, let God hug you, hold onto you, just rest. Instead of being afraid of the uncertainty, rest in the mystery of what you don't understand, rest in WHO GOD IS!


So this is my prayer:
God, we know who you are, but sometimes we forget. We forget that you created the world. That you are bigger than any situation. That you knit us together in our mother's womb and that you know the outcome of every situation we face. We forget who you are. We forget that you know our thoughts and our feelings and you understand them. Jesus, help us give those uncertainties to you. Help us give those painful thoughts, feelings, memories, words, and actions, to you. Wrap us in your love and peace, hug us Jesus, and help us rest in you. Thank you for loving us enough to give us a wonderful gift like your peace. I love you, Jesus! Amen.

xoxo,
Em

To hear Unpredictable, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-qXC3TnuE0

Overwhelming Tragedy, Beautiful Resilience...We Are Virginia Tech.

April 16th 2007 is a day that will forever be remembered by the entire Virginia Tech community and many other people not even connected to Virginia Tech. I wasn't there on that horrible day. I didn't officially become a Hokie until 2010. That day changed my university forever. As horrific as this day was for everyone involved or connected in any way, there is something beautiful that came of it. God likes to do that...turn ashes into beauty. 


The question is often asked; "Why does God let bad things happen to good people, if he loves us so much?" I am sure that this question was asked on more than one occasion regarding this tragedy. The answer is simple...because the world is sinful and God allows people to make choices. When the devil attacks us and leaves us with nothing, much like he did on that horrible day, we have two options. The first is to run away and the second is to stand, fight, and become stronger than you ever were before, recognizing that God is the reason you are able to get back up.

I believe that although God allows people to make choices and although the world is sinful, God is there to dust us off and love on us. God helped the Virginia Tech community back to it's feet. He gave us amazing resilience and helped us show the devil that we are stronger than anything that he can throw at us. If we trust him he is faithful to do this in any situation, just like this one, even those that are bigger than anything we could ever comprehend. When we face tragedy and we are hurting so badly that we can't move, God just wants us to trust him. He just wants us to fall into his arms and let him carry us, he just wants us to give it up and give it to him. In Matthew 11:29-30 Jesus says, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Jesus wants to take our brokenness and heal it, he wants to make us into beautiful creations so that he can shine through us and someone else can feel his love. That is one of the many things I love about him!


Every  April 16th is sad, the entire environment of the campus changes. People suddenly speak more quietly, hug a little tighter, tell their friends how important they are. Yes, there is a certain pride that comes along with being a Hokie, but on this day, that pride takes an entirely different form. It is more compassionate, respectful, and loving. That is what came of this. A beautiful resilience came along with the brokenness. As all of the world watched to see what would become of Virginia Tech, we stood back to our feet, wiped the tears away, wrapped our arms around each other and showed the world that not only are we  going to be okay, but that "We Are Virginia Tech." Our campus of nearly 30,000 people became a tight knit family, full of respect and compassion for one another. God picked us up and carried us forward. 



Only Jesus can take pain like that away. Only he can turn ashes into beauty. I am so proud to be a Hokie! I am so proud to be a part of a university that made it through something so awful and became so resilient! 

"While 32 of our friends and classmates are in Heaven trying to explain what a Hokie is, I stand here sure in the fact that I wouldn't want to be anything else." 

xoxo,
Emily

So, this is my first, EVER, blog post! Of course my instantaneous decision to start blogging came from none other than God! He gives me all of my good ideas. :) So where did this come from? God likes to deal with my heart and speak to my spirit when I am driving. I have about a 20 minute drive to class so I usually crank up my KLove and worship all the way there. I started thinking about my life and where I'm at. All of the amazing things God is doing with it, how blessed I am, if I am actually recognizing how blessed I am...that kind of thing. All of this thinking led to thinking about law school, as it usually does. I run around "like a chicken with my head cut off" wondering how I am going to get it all done, and how I am supposed to remember everything I am supposed to remember, but this time I was thinking a little slower than usual. A little more philosophically. I started to slowly realize that God is way bigger than law school. No, for real, HE IS! Law school is scary, getting married is exciting but it is a huge change and that can be scary too. Put them together and well, life is getting real! What I realized though, is that God sent my husband to me, so that is something to take solace in. Regarding school, God gave me that opportunity, he created the minds of the people who created the law. He created the law! He created law school, he created my professors. He knows it is hard! He knows I am frustrated and tired. He knows. So he does little things to brighten my day! Like this...I was in my car, on my way back from school, crying because I was extremely overwhelmed. All of the sudden a song comes on the radio that God knew I needed to hear. The very first few lines of the song are, "You brought me this far, so why would I question you now? You have provided so why would I start to doubt? I've never been stranded, abandoned, or left in a fight alone, so I'm giving you control." Ha! I'm sure when I went from crying to laughing, God started smiling! He likes it when we laugh. Needless to say, before the song came on I was thinking I couldn't do it anymore, it wasn't worth it. God knew what I was thinking...he had the answer without me even asking the question.

Proverbs 16:3 say, "Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will succeed." In that moment, God blessed me to see that because I have committed my work (law school) to him, he will help me succeed. He will get me through it. That goes for anything, not just law school. See, God loves us so much and he wants us to succeed! Not only does he want us to succeed but maybe sometimes he allows it to be hard so that we are forced to see that we didn't get through it on our own, but that he got us through it! He is just that Great! The rest of the song says, "I lift my life, lift my life up, I give it all in surrender. I lift my heart, lift my heart up, you can have it forever. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave them in your hands. I lift my life, lift my life up, have your way with me." 

So, here is my prayer:

Jesus, you see my frustration and my desire to succeed, but I want my desire to serve you and love you to be far greater than my desire to succeed. So ignite that fire in me! Help me give it all to you, surrender it all. I commit my plans to you, I give my heart to you, I surrender my life to you. Help me be patient with myself and others. Help me get through the end of this semester and while getting through it let your love radiate off of me. Let everyone I come in contact with feel your overwhelming love and amazing peace! I love you, Lord! Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be your hands and feet. 

xoxo,
Emily