So it is that time again....exam time. The one of two times in the year when I really feel like I cling to God more than ever. It's true, if I don't get anything else out of law school or exam time at least I got some good one on one time with God because he knows I run to him for help more during this time than ever! I know, I know, it shouldn't be that way. I wish it wasn't. I wish I made time every, single day to sit with God and just talk and study his word. I try to do that too but I am not always successful. I would give you an excuse for that but my only excuse is that I am a busy law student/wife and even that is not a good excuse because neither of those things come before Jesus, at least they shouldn't. But, God is full of grace and even when we don't give him our first fruits, when we don't give him the time he deserves, he makes time for us, he gives us grace.
The past two weeks my life has evolved around studying. I get up and eat breakfast, do some kind of little workout (when I say little, I am talking like push-ups and squats and I'm done), shower, eat, maybe read a chapter of my bible and then start studying. I take breaks to eat. I have gone and spent some one on one time with my husband a couple of times in the evenings after a whole day of studying but other than that...just studying. You get the picture. Anyway, I really haven't spent a ton of time with God. When the "hard core" studying started, I guess about two weeks ago now, God decided to get my attention since I wasn't giving it to him willfully. After a full day of everything I just described to you, I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake. I woke up because I was fighting with my annual bout of bronchitis and coughing a lung out. I laid there for a few minutes hacking and started to get frustrated. My first thought was, "Really! I have studied all day. I am worn out. I have to get up and study again tomorrow and I need to sleep right now!" Then something really cool happened...God stepped in! Very clearly he spoke to my heart and said, "I can't get your attention any other time, so I have to do it in the middle of the night, when I know you can't go anywhere and do anything else." WHAT!!!!!??? WOW!!!! Immediately I stopped being so frustrated that I was awake and started being so thankful and humbled at the thought that Jesus came to me in the middle of the night because he just wanted to talk to me! Even when I had been neglecting him, he took the time to come to me when he knew that I wouldn't have a choice but to listen.
Believe it or not, the story gets even better!
I immediately started praying. I just started praying for a little bit of everything but there was one topic in particular I couldn't seem to get away from. Over and over this subject kept coming back to me and it had to do with my husband. Finally, while my husband was sleeping I wrapped my arms around him and just started praying for him and that subject. Me and Jesus had a real "come to Jesus" for about an hour and a half that night. The next day, my husband came home from work and told me a story. Low and behold, God had made it very clear that he was starting to work on the situation that I couldn't stop praying about the night before. My jaw dropped! Brent said, "I was kind of in and out for some of last night, is that what you were praying about?" It was! It was exactly what Jesus woke me up to talk about.
Isn't it awesome that even when we neglect God and we don't give him all of the time he deserves, he still loves us enough to wake us up in the middle of the night, the only time he knows we will be listening and talk to us about something he is working on?! That is the coolest thing! That is the amazing daddy that we have. The next Sunday at church God gave us more confirmation when one of our pastors was preaching on exactly what we were praying for! God likes to let us know that even when we aren't holding up our end of "the bargain" that is okay, because this deal with God isn't a bargain, it is a gift! It is LOVE! Unconditional, merciful, graceful, patient, peaceful, love.
Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for your love. Thank you so much for the kind of love that is patient and merciful. Thank you that even when I get busy with things going on in the world and I don't give you the time you deserve, you still love me enough to come sit with me and tell me what you want me to know. Thank you Jesus, that if we acknowledge you in all that we do, you make our paths straight. Thank you for preparing the way for us! Thank you, Jesus. Help us to devote all of ourselves to you and to not let the rush of life get in the way of time with you. I love you, Lord!
Amen.
xoxo,
Emily
