This one is a long one and I originally wrote it and posted it on my Facebook rather than here on the blog, however, this topic is so dear to my heart and as I prepare for our wedding in almost exactly a month, God has brought it back to my memory. So, I decided that meant I needed to share it here! :)
There was a time in my life that I thought being the best woman I could be included being independent and successful, maybe even a “feminist.” It wasn’t until my women’s bible study during my undergrad years at Virginia Tech that I learned those things are exactly the opposite of being the best woman I can be. Yes, it is important to be all you can be, people do want to feel independent, and it is nice to be successful,but what is the bible’s definition of what a woman should be?
I have reached a point in my life that I feel like I can call myself successful.I am engaged to the love of my life, I have graduated from a top university,the university I wanted to go to since I was eight years old, and I am now in law school. So, one might think this is ironic coming from me. But, I do believe that God has so much more to say about “who a woman really is” than we give him credit for.
You see, God gave both the woman and the man special characteristics that the other does not have. He gave women a special part of him and men a special part of him. God gave men the protective, side of him. He gave men the desire to provide, protect, and cherish their relationships and their families. He gave women the nurturing, caring, compassionate side of him. These are both special characteristics that God intended to be reflected in both the woman and the man.
Along with this comes a particular truth that I believe, at some point or another,every young woman struggles with. Submission.Yes, I said it, submission. Don’t get your panties in a wad yet! There is more to this than you think and being submissive is not the same thing as being controlled. God created Adam first (1Timothy 2:13) then he created Eve using Adam’s own bone. (Genesis 2:22) God allowed Adam to name Eve (Genesis 2:20-23), just as he named everything else, this demonstrated Adam’s headship over Eve and God called Eve, Adam’s helper. Now, some people take this and run with it.This does not mean that women are inferior, it means we are special. We are important enough that God wants us to be taken care of. And, most importantly, we are like Christ. The Hebrew word used for helper in the bible is “ezer” which is the same word used in the bible to describe God as the “helper” of Israel.Helper is not a derogatory term, instead, it illustrates strength and power.
Being submissive to the Godly men in your life does not mean you are bowing down to them or abandoning your own voice and your own say, it means that you are saying, I trust God to work through those men and I trust them to listen to Him. It means that as a real woman of faith you can go to God knowing that He will provide those men in your life with guidance and when they don’t listen to His guidance, he will use you to do what He needs accomplished and He will take care of you because you trusted Him and were submissive to His will.
Later on in the bible Paul tells us “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the Church”. (Ephesians 5:22-29) Many women are not fond of this passage of scripture because they don’t understand the real meaning of the word “submit.” Remember, we are helpers, we are strong and powerful,we are like Christ. This “submit” does not mean to bow down to our husbands and supply his every demand. This word means to respect him and help him! There is more to this passage as well, the second half that is often left out. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Oh,there it is! What this really means. We, as women, are to be respectful and helpful and men, as leaders of our families, they are supposed to love us like Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church enough to lay down his life for it. Jesus was also a servant. He served sinners, children, and the poor. He served the church! Husbands are to serve their wives and wives are to respect and help their husbands. It is a mutual relationship. Love and respect goes both ways.
Because I am a strong, well educated woman, I still sometimes struggle with this idea. However, I have learned that life works better this way. It works better the way God designed it. We are happier when we are operating the way our creator designed us too. I have to remind myself of this and I have to remind myself that to be submissive is to be respectful, and to be a helper is to be strong!
So girls, I said all of that to say this. Learn this now! Embrace it now, instead of later. If you haven’t met the one your soul longs for (Song of Solomon 3:4) pray for him! Pray God prepares him for you and you for him. Pray that God equips him to be your spiritual leader and the spiritual leader of your family and that God equips you to be his strong helper. Do it now, before you meet him. Come to the realization that being the best woman you can be, means being a woman of STRONG FAITH! It means knowing how God designed you and what he designed you for, and being content in that!
Now, go read Proverbs 31...the whole thing! I promise it will be worth every minute! :) A lot of people think Proverbs 31 is for women only, but, if you are a guy out there looking for the girl God has for you, it will let you know exactly what you should look for.
There was a time in my life that I thought being the best woman I could be included being independent and successful, maybe even a “feminist.” It wasn’t until my women’s bible study during my undergrad years at Virginia Tech that I learned those things are exactly the opposite of being the best woman I can be. Yes, it is important to be all you can be, people do want to feel independent, and it is nice to be successful,but what is the bible’s definition of what a woman should be?
I have reached a point in my life that I feel like I can call myself successful.I am engaged to the love of my life, I have graduated from a top university,the university I wanted to go to since I was eight years old, and I am now in law school. So, one might think this is ironic coming from me. But, I do believe that God has so much more to say about “who a woman really is” than we give him credit for.
You see, God gave both the woman and the man special characteristics that the other does not have. He gave women a special part of him and men a special part of him. God gave men the protective, side of him. He gave men the desire to provide, protect, and cherish their relationships and their families. He gave women the nurturing, caring, compassionate side of him. These are both special characteristics that God intended to be reflected in both the woman and the man.
Along with this comes a particular truth that I believe, at some point or another,every young woman struggles with. Submission.Yes, I said it, submission. Don’t get your panties in a wad yet! There is more to this than you think and being submissive is not the same thing as being controlled. God created Adam first (1Timothy 2:13) then he created Eve using Adam’s own bone. (Genesis 2:22) God allowed Adam to name Eve (Genesis 2:20-23), just as he named everything else, this demonstrated Adam’s headship over Eve and God called Eve, Adam’s helper. Now, some people take this and run with it.This does not mean that women are inferior, it means we are special. We are important enough that God wants us to be taken care of. And, most importantly, we are like Christ. The Hebrew word used for helper in the bible is “ezer” which is the same word used in the bible to describe God as the “helper” of Israel.Helper is not a derogatory term, instead, it illustrates strength and power.
Being submissive to the Godly men in your life does not mean you are bowing down to them or abandoning your own voice and your own say, it means that you are saying, I trust God to work through those men and I trust them to listen to Him. It means that as a real woman of faith you can go to God knowing that He will provide those men in your life with guidance and when they don’t listen to His guidance, he will use you to do what He needs accomplished and He will take care of you because you trusted Him and were submissive to His will.
Later on in the bible Paul tells us “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the Church”. (Ephesians 5:22-29) Many women are not fond of this passage of scripture because they don’t understand the real meaning of the word “submit.” Remember, we are helpers, we are strong and powerful,we are like Christ. This “submit” does not mean to bow down to our husbands and supply his every demand. This word means to respect him and help him! There is more to this passage as well, the second half that is often left out. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Oh,there it is! What this really means. We, as women, are to be respectful and helpful and men, as leaders of our families, they are supposed to love us like Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church enough to lay down his life for it. Jesus was also a servant. He served sinners, children, and the poor. He served the church! Husbands are to serve their wives and wives are to respect and help their husbands. It is a mutual relationship. Love and respect goes both ways.
Because I am a strong, well educated woman, I still sometimes struggle with this idea. However, I have learned that life works better this way. It works better the way God designed it. We are happier when we are operating the way our creator designed us too. I have to remind myself of this and I have to remind myself that to be submissive is to be respectful, and to be a helper is to be strong!
So girls, I said all of that to say this. Learn this now! Embrace it now, instead of later. If you haven’t met the one your soul longs for (Song of Solomon 3:4) pray for him! Pray God prepares him for you and you for him. Pray that God equips him to be your spiritual leader and the spiritual leader of your family and that God equips you to be his strong helper. Do it now, before you meet him. Come to the realization that being the best woman you can be, means being a woman of STRONG FAITH! It means knowing how God designed you and what he designed you for, and being content in that!
Now, go read Proverbs 31...the whole thing! I promise it will be worth every minute! :) A lot of people think Proverbs 31 is for women only, but, if you are a guy out there looking for the girl God has for you, it will let you know exactly what you should look for.
xoxo,
Emily
